Home Alone:  Back-To-School Transition

If your pets are like mine, they thrive on household hustle and bustle.  Over the summer, our bustle index was high—kid and dog visitors, hikes and swims.  That’s over. Starting this week, we’re at work and school. Our faithful companions are dozing through Judge Judy and Oprah so they’re fresh as daisies with enough energy to make our homecoming memorable.

The companion and family arrive home late in the afternoon, fresh as a scrap of last month’s rawhide chew. Even before the door opens our pets greet us at the top of their lungs.  Even fish flap their gills, creating a tsunami in the aquarium.  Staggering to the kitchen for a cold drink and a potato chip, your last nerve exposed, you discover someone has chewed the window sill.

Someone else has mangled the chair seat.  (The tooth marks are distinctive, as we learned on CSI). Your birds’ calls, your dogs’ barks, and your cats clawing become louder, more incessant. Every fiber of your being screams, “SHUT UP. LEAVE ME ALONE.” Every claw, paw, tail and vocal device of your pets screams “.  I’VE BEEN HOME ALONE ALL DAY, WAITING FOR YOU, OH EPICENTER OF MY UNIVERSE.”

Since we opposable-thumbed caretakers evolved to be more intelligent than our pets, try planning “Home Alone” preventive pet routines.

Before family members fly the coop, heap attention on your pets.  When you distribute breakfast bars and bag lunches, feed a snack or two to your birds. Be sure to feed the dog and cat. Talk with your pet (and your children), using their names.  If you can’t remember their names, sound happy and drink another cup of coffee.

Because birds communicate through calls, set up a radio or CD player for daylong bird entertainment. Some cat owners provide aquariums (with sealed tops, of course) or window-viewable bird feeders as cat daytime entertainment.  Provide a chew toy and toss a Kong with a frozen treat inside to busy your dog as you leave the house. A busy brain equals a happy dog.

When you dash home before soccer practice, grab a leafy celery stick for your avian kid and talk to him.  He may know where your kids’ soccer shoes are.  Pet him, and say bye-bye.

Put your dog in the car and take him (and the soccer shoes) with you.  You can spend the time walking the dog in the adjoining park and chanting mantras.

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When the family returns to the roost in the evening, greet your pets first.  Get everyone in the family to help you. If you haven’t taken your dog outside since you left home, get him right outside.  If your bird is comfortable out of the cage, take him into the bathroom, while you wash your face and brush your hair.

Check your messages via speakerphone while you play ball with your dog or bird. They want to do what you are doing. Only your cat knows what she wants to do, and telling you ruins her mystique. After dinner your bird or cat (not both at once, of course) love to perch near your recliner or on your lap while you watch television or do homework.  Remember, dogs have difficulty perching anywhere.

Smooth your back to school routine into soothing pet practices. When companions provide what pets need, both go to the head of the class.

Have a home alone routine that works with your animals? Post a comment below to enter this month’s drawing for a “Scat Mat,” a sure-fire way to keep pets from your antique chair or away from the front door.

Next week: a home-alone problem with teeth:  barking dogs